I had to stop using percentages in my blog post titles, because they have about as much accuracy as Barney’s 83% for every “true story” statistic. When I started writing this, I was nearly POSITIVE that Robin was Barney’s future wife. After delving deep (too deep, I know) into some screen caps and quotes, though, I’m worried that I am wrong! So I’m going to break it all down here, and see what we see…
We know for sure:
- This is Barney’s wedding
- Ted is the best man
- Marshall is a member of the wedding party
- This is the wedding where Ted meets the mother
- It has to be far enough in the future for Lily to have given birth & lost the baby weight
When we first see any scenes from this oh-so-important wedding (season 6, episode 1 “Big Days”), it seems like it’s actually Ted’s wedding. Later, when we discover that he is the best man, we have to infer from context who is actually getting married. My main question is: why did we see the wedding scene in this particular episode?
The only other relationships mentioned during this episode are:
- Lily & Marshall (obviously not their wedding)
- Cindy & her girlfriend/future wife (we later learn this cannot be her wedding, because Barney is the groom)
- Robin & Barney!
This was a very brief part of the plot, so it may not be relevant at all. But, there are no other potential couples that fit, so it might be a good clue! When Robin shows up looking tore up from the floor up over her breakup with Don, Barney says:
Robin, seriously, I love you, but it’s like you have squiggly carton odor lines coming off you right now.
Later, when Robin has reverted back to being a clean, hot girl, Barney says:
You saucy little minx, you sundressed up.
Problem: The bad part about this connection is that Barney has a later encounter with Nora, and she’s wearing a sundress. Barney mentions that he thought it was too late for sundresses, and Nora says it’s never too late. So that could indicate that she’s the bride, but I hope not.
Back to the wedding! Lily shows up in a pink dress that seems like bridesmaid’s dress…but technically it’s just a dress. The Kate Spade “Amelia” dress, to be specific. So this dress isn’t made to be a bridesmaid’s dress, but Lily certainly could have worn it as one.
Problem – BIG problem – with this theory. Take a took at the image below – the left side has Barney with a purple and white boutonniere, and the right side shows his tie and a wedding bouquet. Both are from the same scene in the episode “Best Man”, where Ted is giving Barney a pep talk as he gets ready. If the wedding color is purple, Lily’s dress does not fit the color scheme, and as such is not likely to be a maid of honor/bridesmaid dress. We know that Robin would have Lily as her maid of honor – or at least a member of the wedding party – so a pink dress in a purple wedding does not indicate good things for Barney & Robin. If Lily isn’t in the wedding, I would have thought that she would coordinate her outfit with Marshall’s, so again, I’m totally confused by Lily’s outfit.
Let’s move on, though, because this purple pink business bums me out. If that’s how it plays out, I’m going to hope that the bride bails on Barney and Robin steps in to take her place, or some similar plot twist. Okay, so, back to the wedding. Lily says that the best man is needed, and we see that Barney needs Ted’s assistance. So, Ted is definitely Barney’s best man.
BUT – that doesn’t rule out Ted being ROBIN’S best man also. In the episode “False Positive”, Robin requests that Ted be her best man if she marries anyone besides him. Also, Lily is in her pink dress and seems to be performing official maid of honor duties, ie making sure the groom doesn’t bail before the wedding. Why would Lily be directing members of the wedding party if she weren’t close with the bride? I just can’t imagine Nora – or any of Barney’s current/former/future prospects – consulting with Lily.
Here’s a stretch but I like the idea of it anyway…it goes all the way back to the first appearance of that beloved Canadian teen superstar, the one and only Robin Sparkles!
When Robin is still hiding her sordid history from Ted, she makes up a fake husband and wedding. Ted learns from Marshall that Robin isn’t married, and so he tries to lawyer her into telling the truth by bombarding her with questions. She has to say that the marriage was at the mall, because it explains her aversion to malls. But then she elaborates…
Ted: Band or DJ?
Robin: String quartet played at the ceremony, but for the actual reception, we had a seven-piece band. We paid extra for the sax ’cause I just love that smooth alto sound.
Ted: How many bridesmaids?
Ted: Color scheme?
Robin: Dusty rose and sienna.
Ted: Husbands name?
Robin: (she hesitates) Um…
Ted: You were never married!
Shortly thereafter, Ted is so frustrated that he yells at Robin, “No wonder your fake husband moved to Hong Kong!” Robin responds indignantly, “He moved there for BUSINESS!” I consider this to be one of the funniest scenes in the entire series, btw.
The point to all this is that Robin likely has dreams for her future wedding, like many girls do. She might not even know for sure that she wants to be married, but most of us have fantasized about our wedding dress, flowers, etc one time or another. So Robin’s rapid-fire responses could be referencing her actual dream wedding. I don’t think that Lily’s dress seems very dusty rosy, but a quick Google image search reveals that apparently some people do consider that color to equal dusty rose. I’m also confused as to why anyone would want sienna as a wedding color, but hey, those Canadians are crazy, amiright?
That being said – Robin could also be spouting off facts about her friend’s wedding. In the same episode, there are several mentions of “Robin’s friend from Canada that got married way too young”. The gang suspects that Robin’s “friend” is actually Robin, but this is later proved untrue. The friend is most likely Jessica Glitter – we learn much later that Jessica did settle down very early. Robin is not happy about this, because Jessica got pregnant and ditched Robin. So, it makes sense that Robin could have been referring to Jessica’s wedding, or she could be making shit up on the spot. I realize that this is in no way definitive but I really wish it were because then I could feel extra clever!
Problem: The damn flowers, again. Purple flowers are not dusty rose flowers, or sienna flowers, or hot pink flowers like Lily’s dress. I hate these flowers. Also, I think the wedding flowers are calla lilies, but azaleas look similar, so I suppose maybe there could be some wiggle room there?
Ted has to marry someone outside of the group – we already know this. But in the grand tradition of successful sitcoms, we have to have people within the group hook up, break up, get back together, etc. Robin and Barney getting married ensures that they will remain close as they grow older, and it keeps the entire group tightly interconnected. If either of them were to end up with someone else, it is very likely that they would grow apart – and who wants that?! So, I’m still Team Robin, and I still think that Barney + Robin = True Luv 4Eva. Which reminds me, we’re still waiting to discover who Steph (that Marshall hearts 4eva) is, too…