Usually, those words – “depression” and “anxiety” – label conditions that I have. I like that way of phrasing it, because it implies a sense of control for me. I have these things, yes, but they do not have me. … Continue reading Depression & Anxiety
I did enjoy TLC’s new show, Big Sexy, quite a bit. But, it also bothered me at times. I give the show’s premiere episode an A minus!
The ladies of Big Sexy remember the first time anyone called them fat. That insult sticks with you, and implies that your most distinctive characteristic is the size and shape of your body. For some of these ladies, the criticism came early, and was dished out by well-meaning parents and family members.
One of the women on the show, Audrey, is plus size AND 6’3. Oh, AND her parents are both models with seemingly perfect figures. I can’t even fathom how rough it must have been for her growing up. Audrey is not surprised when they are denied entrance to the club, and then asked for $30 cover charge each, even though thin women AND MEN were being ushered in for free right in front of them. The other ladies are, for the most part, startled and dismayed by the treatment that Audrey is used to by now.
The fat insults were often aimed at the Big Sexy‘s difficulty in finding or keeping a man. Leslie says:
I was in junior high, and somebody told me, “you’re never gonna get a boyfriend, because guys don’t like chubby girls”. I proved that bitch wrong!
A bit later in the show, Tiffany declares:
You think big girls aren’t sexy? Honey, give me five minutes, I’ll change your mind.
I could relate to almost everything that these women said, and I feel like the show portrayed them quite honestly. They all felt authentic in their attitudes, accomplishments, and insecurities, and I respect that. I didn’t agree with everything, though, and some things made me uncomfortable because they hit too close to home. My main point of contention was how some of the women approached the dating scene. I fully support how they are keeping their standards high, and not settling for just anyone. As Leslie says:
I’m not gonna settle for someone just because I’m fat.
Nikki – who has a boyfriend that I’m totally crushing on, because he’s sweet and funny and hot – summed it up nicely:
I think men see curvy women as either an experiment – something new to try – or like, “she’s gonna be easy, and we could just use them for sex”
So, I understand that the ladies of this show aren’t willing to compromise. I also know that some people watching will take the “beggars can’t be choosers (choosy? I’ve heard it both ways)” approach. I think both sides are a bit wrong. These women aren’t beggars – they’re just appealing to a smaller subset of available men. There are less fish to choose from, but that doesn’t mean they’re going to keep every fish that bites. With that being said, I think that some of them were a bit judgemental… (click “read more” at right for the rest!)
I will preface this by saying that, so far, I’ve been enjoying Love Bites on NBC each Thursday. Each week has offered more and more actors that I already love, and the characters are easy to connect with. I didn’t love this scene, though:
Chloe:Why don’t you let yourself have some fun for once? You deserve it!