AARP Is Showing More Signs Of Dementia Than Usual

As if turning 30 this November isn’t bad enough, AARP is apparently ready to indoctrinate me as an official old person a full two decades ahead of schedule:

First they suggest that I’m officially an old lady, and then they add insult to injury by mentioning a FREE INSULATED TRAVEL BAG that I’m not actually eligible for. Think of what I could have done with that bag! I could have traveled with all manner of hot or cold food items if I only had a FREE INSULATED TRAVEL BAG!

Then, their Twitter feed was hacked (maybe? conflicting reports, I’m not sure), and the senior citizen crew tweeted a shout out in memory of the Notorious B.I.G. :

This is my new favorite thing ever, because whoever handles their social media proceeded perfectly:

Some of the submissions were so funny that I was almost able to cheer up after missing my opportunity for a FREE INSULATED TRAVEL BAG (which everyone knows is the ultimate in senior swag)!

@samscottmpls: Biggie Biggie Biggie, can’t you see, you’re the coolest guy in the AARP.

@TimTurnstone: #AARPRapSongs Baby Got Back Problems

@danielle_rules: These Young Kids Just Don’t Understand #AARPRapSongs

@greatwahl: All About the Benefits, Baby #AARPRapSongs

@ChuckieMom1: Got 99 Problems but a Hip Ain’t One #AARPRapSongs

@benschwartzy: LA-Z-Boyz in the Hood #AARPRapSongs

@Hbe8411: Laid Back. With my mind on my pension & my pension on my mind. #AARPRapSongs

AARP included their favorites in their blog, and ended the post with:

And, Biggie? We really do miss you.

Some people have said this was intentionally done as a way to pander to the media/future senior citizens, and some said they were trying to capitalize on the memory of a dead celebrity. I think they might just have a new marketing strategy that could work out really well. And to anyone that thinks no actual senior citizen would appreciate a shout out to Biggie…you clearly haven’t met my mom.

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10 thoughts on “AARP Is Showing More Signs Of Dementia Than Usual

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