Dorothy: This is so embarrassing, it is so embarrassing. Okay, remember that guy at the bar last night? Well, I got really drunk, and –

Yamamoto: You filthy sl-!

Dorothy: No! He took me back to his apartment to show me his pet Yorkshire and –

Juanita: Oh my God, you drunk adopted a pig!

Dorothy: A little, yeah.

This is why I will be watching Animal Practice next week. Plus a show with Justin Kirk, Joanna Garcia-Swisher, Tyler Labine, Bobby Lee, and Kym Whitley deserves at least a few episodes.

This is also why I don’t go out drinking much these days – the scenario above is a completely plausible outcome in my own life.

To date I have tried to rescue: a lost puppy running across the street at night (ended up being a coyote), an injured dog on the side of the road (ended up being a tree stump), a super speedy dog that hauled ass through the grocery store and down the street (ended up running home on his own) and a cat that was trapped near my air conditioner outside (ended up being an outdoor cat just looking for shade).

So, really, drunk-adopting a pig will probably happen to me at some point in my life. Stay tuned for a similar tweet by @corinacorina…