Big Bang Theory: Per the Pilot, Sheldon Enjoys Solo Coitus

This is demonstrated in both the unaired, original pilot, and the revised pilot that filmed and aired later. First, from the unaired pilot. This one isn’t as reliable, because the characters have changed since then, but it’s worth including just to see how different things could have gone:

Receptionist: Can I help you?

Leonard: Yes. Um, is this the High IQ sperm bank?

Receptionist: If you have to ask, maybe you shouldn’t be here.

Sheldon: I think this is the place.

Receptionist: Fill these out.

Leonard: Thank you. We’ll be right back.

Receptionist: Oh, take your time. I’ll just finish my crossword puzzle. Oh wait.

(They sit and begin to fill in forms).

Sheldon: Leonard, I don’t think I can do this.

Leonard: What, are you kidding? You’re a semi-pro.

I’m confused as to how the actual aired pilot begins, because it’s been edited down in the reruns, and I don’t want to pay to watch it again on itunes. I watched it when it first aired, but at that point I didn’t know I needed to be on the lookout for evidence of Sheldon’s sexuality! (this is clearly a very important task that I am endeavoring to complete) The actual pilot either begins with the above scene, or begins where this scene would have left off, with Sheldon and Leonard returning to the apartment after a failed trip to the sperm bank. We know this because of this convo:

Penny: So, what do you guys do for fun around here?

Sheldon: Well, today we tried masturbating for money.

Finally, I forgot to include this quote in my prior post about why I think Sheldon would enjoy coitus:

Amy: Let’s look at this logically. I have a stomach, I get hungry. I have genitals, I have the potential for sexual arousal.

Sheldon: A cross we all must bear. You know, in difficult moments like this, I often turn to a force greater than myself.

Amy: Religion?

Sheldon: Star Trek. Did you see Star Trek: The Motion Picture?

Amy: No.

Sheldon: Don’t. It’s terrible. However, in it, we learn that when Spock finds himself drawn off the path of logic by feelings bubbling up from his human half, he suppresses them using the Vulcan mental discipline of Kolinar.

Based on these quotes, I think we can say 3 things for sure:

1. Sheldon does get aroused

2. He has, at least in the past, self-satisfied

3. I need a hobby besides tracking fictional characters’ solo session potential

16 thoughts on “Big Bang Theory: Per the Pilot, Sheldon Enjoys Solo Coitus

  1. Maybe I shouldn’t have said that he “enjoys” it in the title – in retrospect it might make more sense to phrase it as something he has done, and something he perhaps struggles with?

  2. I’m going to have to go with the open door you left me on number 3…..(ahem) you could try Sheldon’s “hobby.” Sorry, that was bad. I’m so ashamed, sort of.

    1. haha no need to be ashamed! I can see him feeling ashamed, though, because 1. it’s his human urges overcoming his scientific side and 2. (possibly more important) Lord knows his strict Christian mother wouldn’t be okay with that kinda hanky panky. She probably told him his hands would grow hair or his eyes would fall out if he did it. Of course, even in early pubescence Sheldon would have known better, scientifically, but Mary Cooper has a special influence over him…as most mothers do. :)

      1. I almost hurt myself laughing at Howard and the Robotic Arm. I could just imagine Sheldon streamlining the device for his own use.

        My favorite Mary Cooper line is: “I’m sorry, did I begin that sentence with ‘if it please your highness’?”

                    1. haha true, he is quite the free spirit. I think that a scene with all the guys and Penny trying to listen in on Sheldon and Amy would be the best thing ever. Not like we need to hear the whole event, but I imagine Amy trying to instruct Sheldon as to where things go and what to do with them, and him getting really angry because he already researched the scientific process of coitus and arousal, etc. I know many fans want them to just have a baby with a surrogate, but come on, how awesome would pregnant Amy be?

                    2. Don’t forget the whiteboard equations and PowerPoint presentation by Dr. Sheldon Cooper, PhD

                      Pregnant Amy would be hysterical, especially when Sheldon is such a germophobe anyway.

                    3. He would probably try to keep her in a literal bubble. I would really enjoy that, especially because you know pregnant Amy would be even more horny than she already is!

                    4. And if that were the case, you KNOW Penny would be in her sights. That has already been established. :D

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