Big Bang Theory: I’m Sure Sheldon Would Enjoy Coitus

I understand that his character is not your average man, but I think it’s clear that Sheldon would actually enjoy coitus if properly motivated to engage in it. After the first time, I’m sure he would be a huge fan! Sheldon isn’t a total robot – he is able to derive physical  and emotional pleasure and satisfaction from various activities. The most noteworthy of these activities has to be his self-administered massage, as directed by Amy Farrah Fowler…

The following quotes support my theory that Sheldon would enjoy coitus just as much as anyone else – although I’m pretty sure Amy will enjoy it more. She’s a randy kinda gal! With all of this in mind, I’m eager to see “Shamy” move to the next level of intimacy. Watching them attempt to prepare for anything beyond kissing would fill my heart with joy and possibly make me laugh so hard that I pee my pants. It’s a small price to pay for sitcom fun!

He’s properly equipped:

Sheldon: For the record, I do have genitals. They’re functional and aesthetically pleasing.

-The Skank Reflex Analysis

He’s at least a little curious about lady parts:

Sheldon: Why do you have the Chinese character for ‘soup’ tattooed on your right buttock?

Penny: It’s not ‘soup’; it’s ‘courage’.

Sheldon: No it isn’t. But I suppose it does take courage to demonstrate that kind of commitment to soup.

Penny: How’d you see it? You said you wouldn’t look.

Sheldon: Sorry. As I told you, the hero always peeks.

-The Adhesive Duck Deficiency

He’s satisfied from the ruse – one can only imagine how much more satisfying the reality could be:

Sheldon: I must say, Amy, pretending to have intercourse with you has given me a great deal of satisfaction.

The Herb Garden Germination

His phobia is not about being touched:

Sheldon: It’s not a touch phobia, it’s a germ phobia. If you’d like to put on a pair of latex gloves I’ll let you check me for a hernia.

-The Benefactor Factor

He’s able to enjoy things on a visceral level (convo here is with Leonard’s mother)

Sheldon: So what do you think?

Beverly: I’m very tempted. I’m just not sure it’s appropriate with my son’s roommate.

Sheldon: Normally, I’d feel the same way. But I can’t help but speculate we’d be very good together.

Beverly: I’ve had a similar observation. Certainly something I could never do with my husband.

Sheldon: I was hesitant the first time I tried it, but I experienced an unanticipated and remarkable release of endorphins. It’s quite satisfying.

The Maternal Capacitance

But he really needs to work on the dirty talk:

Amy’s Mom: It’s nice to meet you too Sheldon, I honestly didn’t believe Amy when she told me she had a boyfriend.

Sheldon: I assure you, I am quite real and I’m having regular intercourse with your daughter.

Amy’s Mom: What?

Sheldon: Oh yes, We’re like wild animals in heat. It’s a wonder neither of us has been hurt!

Amy’s Mom: Amy? What is he saying?

Amy: You wanted me to have a boyfriend, mother, well here he is! Have to sign off now. My hunger for Sheldon is stirring in my loin.

Sheldon: Oh yes. It’s time for me to make love to your daughter’s vagina.

The Desperation Emanation

He’s welcome to review my blog post The Big Bang Theory Is Weirdly Specific About Sex Talk for inspiration!

9 thoughts on “Big Bang Theory: I’m Sure Sheldon Would Enjoy Coitus

  1. Sheldon would probably explode if cloths ever occurred (pun intended). I keep thinking that Amy Farrah Fowler will have her way with him soon and then we’ll see a new side of Sheldon.

    1. I can see him trying to document everything, and planning every minute out – alright, first we start with some light kissing to increase arousal, and then proceed to the bedroom for phrophalactics (sp?), and finally proceed with coitus for approximately 20 minutes, with frequent breaks for hydration. And then I can also see Amy being good to go and SO FRUSTRATED with Sheldon’s analytics and delays. I would watch that episode at least 10 times and I bet I will laugh incredibly hard every single time!

      1. 20 minutes would be a generous timeframe methinks. But that would most likely include his stopping to take notes, make charts, calculate trajectory, etc.

        I’m just waiting for Amy to grab him and “Seize the Moment” so to speak.

        1. I can see Sheldon anticipating 20 minutes as the average length of coitus, and then being quite distressed when he (a superior human being) isn’t able to last that long!

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