As per usual, I’m several days behind in my recapping of television shows. I’m excited to finally have found the time, though, to address this week’s How I Met Your Mother! Here are the highlights and lowlights, per me…

Loved:

• Barney’s ducky tie insult (“duck…duck…GROSS”) and his post-insult commentary: “hashtag #burn hashtag #ducktie hashtag #stinsonrocks!”
• Training Marshall via sneezing
• Robin talking to Victoria and acting out bridge…water under it
• Ted’s reaction to Victoria – ie hiding in plain sight – is probably exactly what I would do. This makes me happy.
• Seeing Barney in the ducky tie, for many episodes to come. He can easily spin that so it works to get the ladies…ex: wearing this tie for a year was the last request my dying kid brother/Make a Wish foundation child/dementia-riddled grandpa/etc made of me. Ladies, one at a time, please!

Didn’t Love:

Victoria. I don’t mind that she’s there, because I can’t see any way that she is possibly the mother. I’m not even sure why I objected so much to her filling that role initially – probably just because the show was still relatively new and I didn’t want the mystery spoiled too soon. But nonetheless Victoria bugged me in this episode, and I can finally put my finger on exactly why. She’s acting like she has some higher knowledge of what’s going on with Ted and Robin, when she’s actually been absent for six years and likely doesn’t know anything. This convo is what bothered me:

Victoria: There is reason that it didn’t work out between you and me. But it’s not Germany, and I’m willing to bet it’s the same reason none of your other relationships in the last 6 years have lasted either. It’s Robin.

Ted: No…

Victoria: Yes. She is so much bigger in your world than you realize. And this thing that you’re all doing – you and Barney and Robin – where the three of you hang out at the bar, night in, night out, like you’re all just buddies…that doesn’t work. Trust me.

Ted: No, you’ve got it all wrong.

Victoria: I’m right about this.

No, Victoria, actually, you’re not right at all. Things didn’t work out with Ted and Stella because Stella was still in love with HER ex. Things didn’t work out between Ted and Natalie because Ted didn’t think she was the one and he chose the worst possible way to break up with her (again). Things didn’t work out between Ted and Blah Blah because she was batshit crazy. Things didn’t work out between Ted and Victoria because Victoria moved to Germany, not because of Robin. So there!

In real life, if I ran into my ex after not seeing him for  six years, and he told me that all of my relationships since him (which he knows nothing about, btw) were because I was hung up on some other guy, I would tell him to stop being ridiculous. You can’t presume to know anything about the dynamics between friends if you haven’t even spent any time with them! Has Victoria spent one evening with Ted and Barney and Robin, post-relationships? No, so she’s just assuming that other people are lame like her, and not capable of having awesome friendships that survive relationships. I realize that I’m irrationally upset at a fictional character, btw. I will say, though, that I can see Ted as being just the type of idiot who would believe that. Sometimes Ted trusts the opinions of others over his own instincts, and this seems like one of those times. Anyway, I say good riddance to Victoria, and I hope VictorKlaus ends up happy together.

Future mysteries still at large:

 ♥ Marshall & Steph 4-Eva – The Naked Truth, season 7 episode 2

Ted in the green dress (“Okay, NOW we’re even!”) –The Mermaid Theory, season 6 episode 11