Another entry from John DeVore and the Mind of Man! I think I can present this without much comment, because it’s so spot on. This is his response to blog commenters that accuse him of being bitter whenever he dares to expresses an opinion…I’m in favor of his pirate wisdom. Read on for the lols:

You can call me whatever you want, of course. That is why the Internet is awesome: it’s just one gigantic, super-futuristic AOL chat room. You can call me cranky, old (I’m the only 36-year-old I know who can nap on command) and you can call me an a**hole. Hey, I am an a**hole, especially to those of you who have poor reading comprehension skills. But I am not bitter. Bitterness is ingratitude. I am a very, very thankful (wo)man. For instance, I am thankful that anyone reads my babbling ever.

Bitter people are angry. Angry that their life expectations have not been met. You know how to make a million dollars? Sell people a product that you swear will help them find love or success or an escape from a reality where things don’t work out the way you want them to work out. Sell them that in life, you can expect certain things to come to you. Reinforce the fantasy that there is any certainty. That you can demand the universe to serve your purpose. But here’s the unsexy truth: you have no right to demand anything.  But love has the right to demand everything of you.

You will get whatever you get in life. Usually, it’s a mix of opportunity, luck, cruel randomness and the consequences of your actions, not your expectations. Women’s magazines and talk shows and self-help books written by life coaches will tell you that, with their help or the help of expensive snake oil, you can game the system and control your lot. The only thing you can control in life is your reaction to the utter lack of control you have in life. Don’t listen to those quacks. Life coaches are just actors who don’t want to study to be therapists. Life is winging it. Improvising. I’m not suggesting being passive. Make bold plans. But shipwrecks are never planned. There are no sharks on a desert island. Nothing tastes better than a coconut, especially when there’s nothing else to eat. I call that pirate wisdom.