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Do Not Want: Episode Descriptions for Upcoming HIMYM

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I guess these are kinda spoilery? Not sure. I am sure, though, that I don’t like where these plots are going. First, let’s review what Craig Thomas (executive producer) has to say about the craptastic ending of last week’s episode (which was, thankfully, not as craptastic as the entire episode 2 weeks ago):

While it has been widely believed that Robin will not be the titular mother, executive producer Craig Thomas has an explanation why they revisit the idea of the pair.

“There’s a new purpose for this happening for Ted and for Robin. It will spin off in a direction different from what we’ve seen before between the two of them,” he argued. “We didn’t feel like we were retreading ground.”

Teasing what fans can expect when the show returns next week, Thomas revealed that Ted will ask for a response but assure Robin there’s “no pressure.” He went on describing, “It’s sort of sweet and bittersweet. I like to think it goes in a direction that people won’t see coming,” before adding, “Robin’s head is exploding.”

My head is exploding from the direction that I do see coming. What are our options here? Ted confesses his love and Robin doesn’t want the same things out of life? Oh wait, we already did that. Ted confesses his love and Robin is freaked out by his intensity? Oh wait, we already did that in the GODDAMN PILOT EPISODE. Ted and Robin decide to try again, but ultimately do not work out, just like every other time we’ve already seen? Ted realizes that Barney loves Robin and as such leaves her alone? Yeah, that episode was awesome, but not so awesome that I want to watch a new version of it. Ooh, here’s a good one, Robin wants a relationship with Ted but he isn’t ready for her. Nope, we’ve done that as well (see: Victoria episodes). Maybe they will be tempted to hook up but then realize that they’re better as friends? That ground has also been treaded, my friends. There is literally no outcome that I can think of which will NOT be “retreading ground”. If this episode somehow does that in a way that pleases the viewers, I will happily post about how I was wrong and HIMYM is still oh-so-clever.

I understand that Ted doesn’t know yet that Robin isn’t his soulmate. His character hasn’t met “the mother” yet, so he’s still trying to find his Miss Right. But we – the audience – are quite familiar with the whole Robin isn’t the mom thing. It isn’t “widely believed” that she isn’t the mother. It is known as a fact for any viewer that has paid attention. It makes no sense for them to flip the script and try to make Robin believable as the mother, after we’ve seen the pics of the kids with “Aunt Robin” and the numerous references to the mother living with Cindy, etc. The show doesn’t even start with him meeting Robin! It starts with Marshall planning to propose to Lily, and that episode ENDS with Ted meeting Robin. The story doesn’t start with her at all – if it did, the story would be over after the first episode.

Yes, in real life, people go back to their exes time and time again. I’m as guilty as anyone of that particular mistake. But, like many other things in TV land, we don’t need to see it every fucking time. Just like I know that the characters use the restroom, but I don’t need to see them hauling ass to the ladies’ every other week. It’s okay for a show to continue the storyline without showing us the same thing over and over and over and over again. Especially when the general consensus seems to be that NOBODY wants to see this shit play out.

This isn’t Ross and Rachel getting back together, okay? This isn’t the couple that we know is destined to end up together, but they just have to work out the kinks first. THAT is rewarding, because we know that we’re working towards their happily ever after. This Robin and Ted business doesn’t give either of them a direct happy ending. Blah blah blah, had to get this relationship out of the way before Ted’s ready for the mother, blah blah blah unresolved issues. This whole effing show is about what had to happen to get Ted to the mother, we don’t need to see every single time it happens. Especially when every single second of Ted’s life is apparently leading him towards his destiny.

/end rant – here are the descriptions for the upcoming new episodes of HIMYM, via TheFuton Critic, plus my thoughts:

2/20/12 episode “No Pressure”

TED CONFESSES HIS FEELINGS TO ROBIN, AND BARNEY FINDS SOMETHING PERSONAL OF MARSHALL AND LILY’S, ON “HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER,” MONDAY, FEB. 20

“No Pressure” – When Robin breaks up with Kevin, Ted confesses his feelings to her. Meanwhile, Barney is on a mission to find something private of Marshall and Lily’s, on HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER, Monday, Feb. 20 (8:00-8:30 PM, ET/PT) on the CBS Television Network.

If they handle Barney’s quest for a Lily & Marshall sex tape the way they handled his quest for videos of Robin Sparkles, I might be on board with it. I’m just going to ignore all of this Ted/Robin bullshit unless it’s somehow surprising in some inexplicably positive way.

2/27/12 episode “Karma”

BARNEY TRIES TO CONVINCE QUINN TO DATE HIM AFTER REALIZING HE HAS FEELINGS FOR HER, ON “HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER,” MONDAY, FEB. 27

Becki Newton (“Ugly Betty”) Returns as Quinn, Barney’s Love Interest.

“Karma” – Barney tries to pursue Quinn, even after learning she is a stripper. Meanwhile, Marshall and Lily introduce Robin to life in the suburbs and Ted tries to figure out what to do with Robin’s old room, on HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER, Monday, Feb. 27 (8:00-8:30 PM, ET/PT) on the CBS Television Network. Becki Newton (“Ugly Betty”) returns as Quinn.

I’m assuming Robin moves out because Ted has gone crazytown and is trying to stir up romance again? I swear, if we have to watch Lily’s idiot father bumbling around again, I will freak out. So over this suburbia crap. Also, I don’t get why some people online were saying that Barney would never end up with Quinn because she’s a stripper. Excuse me, have you met Barney? I’m pretty sure his one and only response to that information would just be “Challenge Accepted!”

I think this gif sums up my feelings toward the current season:

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