As if turning 30 this November isn’t bad enough, AARP is apparently ready to indoctrinate me as an official old person a full two decades ahead of schedule:
First they suggest that I’m officially an old lady, and then they add insult to injury by mentioning a FREE INSULATED TRAVEL BAG that I’m not actually eligible for. Think of what I could have done with that bag! I could have traveled with all manner of hot or cold food items if I only had a FREE INSULATED TRAVEL BAG!
Then, their Twitter feed was hacked (maybe? conflicting reports, I’m not sure), and the senior citizen crew tweeted a shout out in memory of the Notorious B.I.G. :
This is my new favorite thing ever, because whoever handles their social media proceeded perfectly:
Some of the submissions were so funny that I was almost able to cheer up after missing my opportunity for a FREE INSULATED TRAVEL BAG (which everyone knows is the ultimate in senior swag)!
@samscottmpls: Biggie Biggie Biggie, can’t you see, you’re the coolest guy in the AARP.
@TimTurnstone: #AARPRapSongs Baby Got Back Problems
@danielle_rules: These Young Kids Just Don’t Understand #AARPRapSongs
@greatwahl: All About the Benefits, Baby #AARPRapSongs
@ChuckieMom1: Got 99 Problems but a Hip Ain’t One #AARPRapSongs
@benschwartzy: LA-Z-Boyz in the Hood #AARPRapSongs
@Hbe8411: Laid Back. With my mind on my pension & my pension on my mind. #AARPRapSongs
AARP included their favorites in their blog, and ended the post with:
And, Biggie? We really do miss you.
Some people have said this was intentionally done as a way to pander to the media/future senior citizens, and some said they were trying to capitalize on the memory of a dead celebrity. I think they might just have a new marketing strategy that could work out really well. And to anyone that thinks no actual senior citizen would appreciate a shout out to Biggie…you clearly haven’t met my mom.