The Best Movie Summary Ever

Once upon a time in college, I had an A to Z guide for movies available to rent. It became a habit to go through and highlight the movies I had seen, mark the movies I wanted to see, etc. It was during one of these perusals that I found the description of a little movie called Creepers. It is, without a doubt, the best movie summary ever.

“Plodding Italian production casts Jennifer Connelly as a young girl with the ability to communicate with, and control, insects. She must use her little friends to track down the maniac who’s been murdering students at the Swiss girls’ school she’s attending.”

Seriously, how many movie plots are contained within those two sentences? I had to re-read it several times just to confirm that I hadn’t somehow made up the ridiculousness that is this movie summary. Oh, and just in case you can’t read the poster, at the bottom it says “Featuring music by IRON MAIDEN and MOTORHEAD”. To which I say, dude, once you’ve made the sale, you can stop selling. The musical stylings of Iron Maiden and Motorhead are just icing on the cake, amiright?